imperfectpages' Year of Me

I've been blogging tonight about my plans for 2012. One of them is to read more. Reading used to be 'my thing' - when my Mum's friends asked her, did I play tennis? She'd reply no, but she reads a lot. In the past few years I just haven't found the time, and I want to change that.

Tonight I downloaded a couple of free books onto my Kindle: David Copperfield and Wuthering Heights (actually, WH is a bit of a cheat, as it's my favourite book and I've read it many times). I also downloaded the sequel to The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo the other day, and haven't looked at it yet. I have a bus journey and maybe some hanging around to do tomorrow: I'm taking the Kindle.

I'm thinking about ways I can share my reading, get motivated and make it social. I might join a book club, either online (maybe the Mumsnet one) or in real life - or both. Surely there must be a book club on Twitter? Or on BritMums? I will find out.

(This is where there would be a nice Instagram pic of my Kindle in its lovely green case, if I was a blogging perfectionist and wasn't writing this from my bed.)

I'm still in love with Instagram. I'm on there every day, these days much more frequently than Twitter. I follow a lot of people I 'know', but I also like to browse the popular page and try out new people if I like the look of their photos. I recently started following @heardinlondon, who takes some really interesting pictures, picking out the little details that you might otherwise miss around London. This week he (she?) posted a picture of some street art, tiny cut-out images pasted on a wall, with shadows etched on the pavement. It was tagged #pablodelgado. Today I've browsed the #pablodelgado tag on Instagram, looking at lots of his witty and skillful street art. I've also had a good look at Pablo Delgado's website, www.pablodelgadomc.com. As well as street art, he does paintings (not so much my cup of tea), drawings and installations. Lots of interesting artwork, all from following a random snap on Instagram. 

I've started a new project. A 366. It's all about ME. 

Over the past few years I've loved being a mother. I've found it very challenging, and massively time-consuming. I feel that through dedicating so much of myself to this excellent enterprise, I've lost a sense of *me*. 

I need to remember to do things for myself, to take time to think, to nurture who I am and what I value about myself. I'm not sure yet how the project will turn out, whether there'll be photos, long posts, quick thoughts and moments... I'm looking forward to rediscovering myself and investing a little bit of time in being me. 

So, today I re-started a blog in this little space. I posted on my main blog too. I reviewed my plans for 2011 (and was pleased that I'd been successful in just about everything) - what struck me reading back that old post was that it was really nicely written - I'd taken time and thought it through, and picked a lovely image to go with it - and also that I loved my blog back then. I have plans for plenty of blog posts, and I want them to get written. I'm a blogger and I want to keep blogging. 

1. Baby's MMR today, along with two other jabs. He's very brave and hardly cries at all. Given the post I've been writing on the main blog today, I feel we're really lucky to have free access to excellent healthcare whenever we need it.

2. An absolute classic from Toddler (which I hesitate to recount as it involves admitting that I occasionally pass wind in the privacy of my own home). So anyway, I fart, and as he's potty training at the moment and I want to be open about these things, I tell Toddler: "Mummy pumped". He replies "Did someone come out, like when I came out of your tummy?". If only it really were that easy!

3. Day three of solo parenting while Husband works away. The house is relatively tidy, I've done two loads of washing, and both children are asleep by 7.05 pm.

1. Husband is in London. Toddler sleeps through and comes into my room at about ten to six. I convince him to get into bed and we have ten minutes of lovely family cuddles before heading downstairs. I'm sure he's grown recently: he doesn't seem at all like a baby any more, and is good at lying down and starting the day gently without bouncing about all over the place. 

2. To the park in the afternoon. It's Baby who's the big boy now, climbing around and having a great time on the swings. 

3. Early bedtime for Baby and Toddler. I chill out and have a big glass of wine. Another successful day of solo parenting. 

1. A new attraction at our favourite kiddy farm/soft play/adventure land. It's a Wild West shooting arena, with foam balls and shiny cannons that work with short, sharp blasts of air. Toddler loves it, running around, laughing and playing with everything. Baby has a great time too, endlessly feeding foam balls into the vacuum tubes. By lunchtime they're both exhausted. 

2. In the afternoon we play with one of my favourite toys: a Thomas the Tank Engine set that looked small and unpromising, but actually offers loads of creative options. Seriously, good toys make me happy.

3. An excellent solo bedtime. After Baby is asleep, Toddler and I have brilliant stories and cuddles. I feel so lucky to be loved so much.

1. My baby can walk! After weeks of taking a few wobbly steps here and there, suddenly he's walking all over the place all day. Delight all round.

2. A new pair of jeans from eBay: great condition, flattering and fashionable, and... size 12!

3. At my Mum and Dad's for lunch. Not one to do things by halves, my Mum follows dinner with strawberries, raspberries, blueberries, blackberries and (somewhat incongruously) pineapple.

1. After Toddler and Husband get up I go back to bed. When I get up, Baby and Toddler are both dressed for the day.

2. Our guests for the evening arrive before the children are asleep. Baby walks all over the living room, taking more steps than ever before.

3. An excellent evening of curry, Champagne, beer, debate and laughs. Cheers guys. :)

1. Lunch by myself at Yo Sushi. There's chilli squid, chicken gyoza, pumpkin korroke and even a small beer. I take my time.

2. I visit the big Oxfam clothes store that I've been dying to look round. Afterwards, I head into town and find the 'charity quarter', four shops all on one street. By the time I'm finished I have two tunic dresses, a perfectly-fitting pair of cord trousers, a fabulous but weird oversized lace blouse-y thing and a beautiful little milk jug. This is what happens when you browse without interruptions or distractions.

3. I stop in the coffee shop at the station for a drink and a chocolate chip cookie. I sit in peace for 20 minutes, sipping my drink and reading a novel on my Kindle. I'm surrounded by grown-ups; business people and commuters. For a few hours I don't have to be anybody's mother.

1. Out in the forest again today. We don't reach the top of the hill and turn back before we get to the treasure (geocaching) but we walk and talk and learn about the world. We meet a man walking his dogs: they're called Jack and Jill, and Toddler recites the end of the nursery rhyme beautifully. Later he tells Husband that we saw 'his friends' Jack and Jill - considering dogs as friends (not foes) is a big positive step.

2. Another successful run. I haven't missed one yet and I can feel myself getting fitter.

3. Fajitas for dinner (which I did most of the prep for earlier in the day: domestic goddess in action!).